||[Aug. 17th, 2006|09:00 pm]
So I"m confused about some stuff in life and I'm here to vent. I once again have a cold, I'm trying to potty train my daughter and someone asked me an awkward question. When my daughter was born she had 2 godmothers who lived in the state and then I stopped talking to one of them b/c of some stuff that went down, so naturally I crossed her off my list of godmothers. The the problem is that I was talking to a friend from N. Y. whom I haven't spoken to in a while and they asked why Celenia was one G-M less and I had to explain the whole story all over again. Except I'm no longer mad at that person, as I was when the whole thing, So telling the story felt awkward and immature. I told this to my wise older friend who asked me why won't I mend fences, and I had to sit there and think... I explained that we do talk when ever I IM them but that I can't trust that person ever again with all my woes and that I didn't know how to have a friend whom I couldn't trust. wait I mean a best friend whom I couldn't trust. They of course brought up the whole forgive and forget thing, and I reminded them I was always horrible and forgetting the things I should forget the most. And that I was a true believer in that fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me thing. She had to go to work and ended the conversation with the simple fact that I had betrayed her trust the day I moved to FL. What I did was different than what was done to me but still I had betrayed her trust and here she was talking to me as though it hadn't happened at all.(FYI I used to aspire to be as big hearted as she is, I'm nowhere near it) So now here I am sitting wrapped up like a mummy,debating what I want to take. It's not just this person but I have to choose what I want out of life. I can't stay planted here. On that note the H.R. lady at the place I applied to is CRAZY she told them that she called me and set up an appointment but I haven't heard from her since last week lol.