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Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.

	2008.07.19  18.33 Garage Sale So today I had a garage sale that was awesome!!!!! i made 205.75 lol off of free stuff...

	2008.07.18  09.47 Wow Another long gap and i'm back lol my kids3 and life is CRAZY!!!!!!

	2006.08.17  21.00 So I"m confused about some stuff in life and I'm here to vent. I once again have a cold, I'm trying to potty train my daughter and someone asked me an awkward question. When my daughter was born she had 2 godmothers who lived in the state and then I stopped talking to one of them b/c of some stuff that went down, so naturally I crossed her off my list of godmothers. The the problem is that I was talking to a friend from N. Y. whom I haven't spoken to in a while and they asked why Celenia was one G-M less and I had to explain the whole story all over again. Except I'm no longer mad at that person, as I was when the whole thing, So telling the story felt awkward and immature. I told this to my wise older friend who asked me why won't I mend fences, and I had to sit there and think... I explained that we do talk when ever I IM them but that I can't trust that person ever again with all my woes and that I didn't know how to have a friend whom I couldn't trust. wait I mean a best friend whom I couldn't trust. They of course brought up the whole forgive and forget thing, and I reminded them I was always horrible and forgetting the things I should forget the most. And that I was a true believer in that fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me thing. She had to go to work and ended the conversation with the simple fact that I had betrayed her trust the day I moved to FL. What I did was different than what was done to me but still I had betrayed her trust and here she was talking to me as though it hadn't happened at all.(FYI I used to aspire to be as big hearted as she is, I'm nowhere near it) So now here I am sitting wrapped up like a mummy,debating what I want to take. It's not just this person but I have to choose what I want out of life. I can't stay planted here. On that note the H.R. lady at the place I applied to is CRAZY she told them that she called me and set up an appointment but I haven't heard from her since last week lol. Mood: sick

	2006.07.18  22.40 tada So i realized that I have some kickass people in my life today.. I mean they are people who I know and don't even consider close friends... I used to think that moving to this shit-hole state when i did might have been a mistake but I think now that it wasn't. I wouldn't of had met my best friend who is a great person all around even when we drive each other crazy. And even though we no longer talk I don't regret not one bit being friends with M. C. F. B., I learned that country music doesn't suck ass as much as I thought it did (it still sucks just not as much) I have a cool ex-supervisor who think's he's the shit and in times can be, cause when I need some advice and don't want to hear nagging I run to him like there is no tomorrow.(lets hope he doesn't know how to read blogs his big head my night explode) I have people that put up with my shit and then let me know when enough is enough. I am no where near home and although I love my family I feel as though had I lived in NY back in November I wouldn't of had been able to mourn the way I wanted to, the way I needed to. I am thankful that I had my kickass friends and surrogate family around... SO let this be a hiatus of my complaining about what crap happens... I should be glad I have a great family both flesh and surrogate (except the in-laws) Mood: awake

	2006.06.26  20.49 So today was Celenia's 1st day at daycare, and she cried... which made us very sad to leave her...Luis spent the whole day fighting the urge to call them. I spen the whole day makeing sure who I should out as her emergency contacts, who were allowed to pick her up and if the numbers i putdown from them were right... In the end it's gonna be her two aunts that live here, her godmother and her husband and her godfather...When I came to pick her up that subject that I'm so paranoid about came screaming through my head... I walked in to pick her up and the woman that was there obviously wasn't the same person whom I left her with b/c the hours for the day care are 6am-midnight.Anyhow I walk in and she sees me, turns and scans the room as if to match me to my child... She notices Celenia start screaming and so she turns to me and ask is a tone that I hate "That is YOUR baby???" To which I reply." Yup that's why I'm here" is a very forced NICE tone. She still stares as me suspciously and walks over to Celenia. I follow her and Celenia is now on the verge of climbing out of her playpen...So the woman chuckles and says "Someone missed their mommy". I just smile at her and tell her " Yeah it's her first day, she was crying this morning when I left her." The woman smiles and lets me walk off with my baby... The only thing that made this first daycare visit upsetting is that she asked me if Celenia was my child as though she was surprised. I know I'm overreacting but as soon as those words came out of her mouth, my mind said "it's cause she's sooo light and you're dark". It's not an issue that I made up in my mind, I get asked that quesiton alot for that reason and it burns my bubble... Anyhow back to today..So I get home and the 1st thing Celenia want's to do is to sit on my lap and slide down...so that she can stay at my feet and hold on while I lift her with my legs...She made me do this for about 20 mins with my lifting her 5 tims before I kicked her off... lol... anyhow that's about it... Mood: awake

	2006.06.10  16.37 Gosh Ok so i figure if I can blog on myspace and go there once a day I can do the same here. My baby is 14 months old. She's been crying all day cause of her teething issues. I have to find a way to keep her from choking on her drool while she sleeps. And if anyone has any advice on how to deal with molars and three front teeth please..HELP ME!!!! lol thanks. Mood: tired

	2006.03.05  15.11 Wow So I forgot I even had an account here lol and it took me a bit to remeber the password. My goodness um well my daughter is 11 months today and is trying to walk. She Has 4 teeth with two more coming out and I am still a relief lead at River Adventure. Mood: blah

	2005.08.10  18.54 OK so I haven't been here for a while. wow. update...I had a car accident, I've been working a bit (more than what I'm used to) I have a car well I had, I got into a accident so now i'm on a rental car that her company is paying for. i paid only 200 for the car and I'm getting 1400 so I'm happy. Nothing much new otherwise that's all I will be updateing more often though I've been negleting the internet, (the 274 emails that were waiting for me prove it.)

	2005.05.25  00.20 The Divine sisterhood of friends I finished reading The sisterhood of the traveling pants, and it made me think how always whenever I read a book about friendship I wish I had that type of relationship with some group of girls. I could never though b/c the girls I grew up most of them always picked at me. Not pick on me but picked at me and I spent most of my time snapping at them. Then when I realized that I didn't need their crap I would just hang out with my best friend that I'd known since I was 5... I started to talk to other girls in H.S. but I still wanted that group you know? I graduated and started to go to school and work and made new friends, even then I still longed for that unconditional friendship... I left home and moved and made new friends and still I longed for it. What I find so funny is that it took my having a baby that I really didn't want to have to realize that I've had it... and in some ways always have. I mean I've been friends with Edeline since I was 5, and I know that we've always had each other’s back...but in H.S. I had soo many people who was there for me and were there for me throughout my pregnancy...and yet I didn't notice. When I was working and going to school, I made some great friends who get mad if we don't talk at least once a week. And yet when I lived near them I didn't notice... I moved down here and made some friends, who helped me cope with my selfish trauma of being pregnant. Hell they slept on the hospital floor in my room when I was in labor...but I just saw them as some of my best friends...It wasn't until I got home and thought back when I realized that I have my Divine Sisterhood of friends... I have the privilege to know girls, no women who are the meaning of friends. They signify everything that a sisterhood should be. It doesn't matter that they're scattered around the world. What matters is that to me they mean the world and I wouldn't trade their wisdom, tears, joys, love, hatred, concerns and thoughts for anything in the world. Soo funny how I've had something I've wanted right in my face and I didn't even notice... To each and every one of you, my friends in my Divine sisterhood...thank you for your love, patience, understanding, opinions (especially when I didn't want it but needed it) experiences... and time. Mood: thoughtful Music: Launch Cast

	2005.05.05  00.19 Home ( LOL )

	2005.04.30  12.23 WOW Ok so Thursday was my one year wedding anniversary. And so Luis had made plans for us to go out to eat. Miriam babysat (thank you girl!!) and we went out to eat at Lombard’s. When we get there the hostess see's Luis smiles and tells us "Happy Anniversary". I smiled but didn't put much thought to it, then we're getting seated and our server tells us the same. So then I look at him and he's too busy looking at the fish (we were sitting next to this big fish tank) and I look over and realize that our table has a vase with 3 red roses and one white one, plus there are balloons with HAPPY ANNIVRERSARY written on them, and there is a card. After that the whole day (because I chose to walk around with the vase and balloons in my hand) everyone kept on telling us happy anniversary. Luis would stop anyone he knew and tell them it was our anniversary and that I had our baby 3 weeks ago, then he would ask them I looked great. It didn't matter if they were male or female... I felt bad cause all I got him was Gargoyles season 1 on DVD and Superman the animated series Volume 1. He did all that plus got me Roswell season 2. OH! We also saw Kung FU Hustle and oh my god I'm in love with that movie now lol. I was laughing so hard I nearly pissed my pants. Mind you it could just be that Thursday was the 1st day that I got to leave the house with out the baby for more than an hour. I had so much fun I am seriously considering looking into finding a regular babysitter. I can't have Miriam do it cause I actually want to hang out with her lol... My little girl, Isn't she cute? lol Luis loves to play with her as you can see, he was dancing with her and like 2 minutes later she started to cry. He thought it was his fault, lol. Anyhow now I have a new dilemma. My sister in-law who throughout my pregnancy said she would baby-sit for us says now that she can't which means that my other sister in-law will have to but on Sundays she goes to church and I don't want my daughter going to church, especially with a woman who is cheating on her husband. So I have to find some way to get a new sitter or see if I can switch my days off again. Ugh!!!!! Mood: okay Music: Rob Thomas

	2005.04.18  23.23 ok OK so my daughter is becoming a handful, I liked it when she slept all day. but tomorrow she'll be 2 weeks old and she's already showing her dna... I felt bad cause today Miriam came over and Edeline called me... Now I would of normally just told whoever was calling me that I had guest, but Edeline was calling me from Korea so I took the call and oh my goodness was I in for the surprise of a lifetime. My best friend since I was 5 (16yrs) is pregnant. She's in the army and she's not married so I was speechless for like 5 mins... not because she's unmarried but because i never pegged the military as the place to start a family... oh my goodness anyhow I got to go.... night

	2005.04.14  23.03 That Biatch OK so I really hate my sister in law, she cheats on her husband, lies to mine and fucking is always trying to give in her two cents. So Luis (my husband) knows what I think of her but he still tries to involve her in our life. I can't say anything because when his mother lost custody of him and they were gonna put him in a foster home, she adopted him and raised him so she's his surrogate mother... But I don't have to like having her around us, especially when she lies to him and he knows it but won't do anything about it. Anyhow when she found out I was getting induced she said her two cents about how it's gonna hurt and how I shouldn't do it. Luis even asked me not to just cause she said so but I wasn't going to let her have her way. Anyhow I've been playing nice until the other day when i found out that the tramp was talking shit about me. Apparently she was talking shit about how I stayed in the hospital for 6 days cause of my selfishness and that I was running up her brother's medical bills. HOLD UP!!!!!! 1ST OFF I sure as hell didn't want to be in the hospital for almost a week. 2nd I have my own insurance... so Luis doesn't have to pay anything, and as for the co-payment I took care of that on my own. I pay my own bills... She needs to kiss my ass. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mood: pissed off

	2005.03.29  16.14 MY Goodness Ok soo I started my maternity leave on Sunday and apparently,I did it at a good time, work apparaently has gone down hill. SO one of our leads who's power hungry is being SUPER JERK. And we keep on getting six in a row (FYI: we're only allowed to load 5 in a row at JP River Adventure, which leads to more suspensions and more staffing problems. Then I had a heart attack last night cause my friends mom called asking for her and I had no idea where she was... Mind you my imagination can run pretty wild, and I was on the verge of calling hospitals until she called me saying she was fine. Luis kept calling me cause he's worried that I'm gonna go into labor by myself while he's at work. I love him to death but my goodness I wanted to kill him. This morning he didn't even want to leave me. I blame my Dr. she told him that I was thinning out, and now he's nervous that I will thin out completely and have my water break while I'm home alone. I'm more worried that I'm gonna pass out from hunger, I keep eating like a maniac...Maybe I didn't notice that I eat so much when I'm at work but we keep running out of food for me to eat. Anyhow thats all for now.

	2005.03.16  16.47 Dam it'shot My AC is broken and I don't know what to do. I mean we have it blasting and I'm melting like chocolate in someone's pants. I don't think that it's me only though cause Luis hasn't said anything... mind you he might not just cause I'm getting meaner the closer I get to my due week. Yeah I don't really have a due date I have three so I consider the earliest my due date, which would be Sunday April 3rd, 2005 I'm being extra selfish and hoping that I give birth earlier so that I can have time to recuperate, and celebrate my wedding anniversary which is April 28th. I mean I still plan to go out to celebrate no matter what but I would just like to have some extra energy doing so. I don't plan to go out alot until the baby is much much older with the exception of a few special occasions and marrying Luis is a big one in my eyes. Anyhow nothing major has really happened recently. Oh except that Scott one of my leads was trying to put me in a all standing rotation despite the fact that my right foot is swelling like crazy. So my other lead came in and told him that I was going into the control booth rotation. Scott didn't look all to happy but Jeandy didn't care he said that I have a week and a half left of work and he was gonna make the best of it for me. Other than that it was a good day, we went into a silver which brings me hope for this season... I love whites I mean it's soo fun to tell guest that they can't ride the water ride cause lighting is in the area. And a silver meant that a storm was coming, anyhow after work Melina and I went out to eat at a chinese restaurant and while we were there this family was talking about how they wanted to go to Universal Studios... I fought the urge to tell them to not to waste their money or time... Mood: blah

	2005.03.11  22.49 My Own Fault So I did something stupid yesterday. I opened my big mouth. Yesterday a friend form work told me how another person from work didn't like the new person who we were getting. She happened to be my trainee (the new girl) anyhow I mentioned the conversation to my other friend... I just didn't know that she was with the woman from work. SO she tells the person and the person text my friend who told me (is this getting confusing? sorry) and he asked me if I told anyone... I felt soo embarrassed because I opened my big mouth and expected someone else to keep theirs shut. I apologized to him like 100 times and fought back tears because I was training and didn't want my trainee to be worried. Especially since it had somewhat to do with her... SO I felt stupid and somewhat betrayed and it pisses me off that I still do... And I shouldn't be mad at my friend but I am, which makes me a hypocrite because my other friend isn't mad at me for opening my mouth... It makes the fact that the woman from work not liking me even more of a deal cause she's somewhat of a authoritative figure. I'm not saying that she hates my guts but out of the 3 girls at work that work there the most I am the least like. And believe you me I will survive... Mood: sad

	2005.03.05  22.45 I was trying to figure out how to post pictures.... lol i scanned this pic soo crooked

	2005.03.05  19.18 What I am doing and what I should be... Ok so I had what I'm hoping to be my last baby shower today, it was thrown by Luis's sister Ria. I don't like her much (did I ever mention that?, mainly because she cheats on her husband and lies to mine. She doesn't even know that Luis has caught her with one of her other men. He won't tell her though and doesn't want me to tell her either. I don't know why he puts himself through the pain of knowing that she lies to him with no problem. I would give her a piece of my mind but, she's like a mother to Luis and I have to respect his wishes even if I do think that they are stupid. Anyhow let me break down the party and gift list. The 1st party was thrown by Luis's restaurant, his 1st cook organized it. Miriam and Melina went and witness the ghettoness of it all...lol But I had fun in a weird way. Anyhow no one there, with the exception of a few people, went to our gift registry. It was fine though cause they went through alot of trouble and got us great gifts. I thought it was funny that we ended up eating by the dumpster behind the restaurant. The macaroni and cheese was GREAT and I loved the chicken wings... I got lots of clothing and bibs. Annie got me the hoola skirt I wanted. I fell in love with it when I was scanning at Wal-Mart and several people got us stuff from the dollar store, which I have no problem with except that some of the things I can't use because they are horrible quality. But on the bright side we were given a bassinet, a stroller with infant car seat, and crib that converts into a bed so that we don't have to buy one for a while. Anyhow my second shower was the one throw by my River crew...Actually Melina threw it and Miriam and Jessica (who's Melina's friend.. but I love her just as much)helped out. There wasn't any ghettoness or at least not as much as the one Luis restaurant... I was surprised to find a lot of registry things and just things that I loved. It showed me that I have more people who care about me than I thought. I loved everything, it was perfect. I have to give Melina, her mom, Miriam and Jessica thank you gifts even if they protest. I still got gifts from people even days after the party. Today was the 3rd one and I tried to have fun but to be honest it was the longest 2 hrs in my life. I got a duplicate gift so I went to target and returned it for a 8 dollar giftcard. I was just bored and everyone was leaving, like 30 mins into the party. Luis kept on dissapearing and I don't blame him whatsoever. Anyhow afterwards he went to work and I went to target to return the tub and buy some cleaning supllies... Mood: thankful Music: Launch@yahoo

	2005.03.01  23.50 Two hours later So this weekend was great, I had my baby shower that Melina threw me. I loved it!!! I got soo many gifts and they were the one's that I actually put on my registery. I have lots to tell but I'm dead tired and still am waiting for my dinner. I went to megacon too. it was ok.

	2005.02.23  00.15 Tired... OK so I haven't been on in a while and this will be short. UPDATE!!!! I'm 34 weeks in now, still not all that happy, but accepting it much better. Anyhow last week I was sick a bit, actually I was haveing pain that I just couldn't take. That's ok though cause Miriam and Melina lept me company every night almost. Melina has been occupying me(we know why) and I'm busy plotting to get this creep fired from work. I went to HR and got my papers for my maternity leave. I've decied that I like BOTH my new leads. I'll make a real update tomorrow seeing as how Luis plans not to be around me all day.

	2005.02.02  14.01 Woo I learned how to shrink my pics into the size of Icons, I made one for Melina, I like the fact that i learned something new to do. SO yeah now I'm going to be making Icons like all those other people I see who makes them. I always feel out of place cause I'm not all that computer savy. But i like the progress I've made. :-) I have soo much on my mind... The showers (plural) the fact that we have to bu some stuff so that Luis can store his crap and we can have room for the baby's stuff. WE have nothing for this baby. If I were to go into labor today we'd be screwed because we have no money. I mean we still haven't doens our taxes, I don't know why... Oh yeah cause I don't have the money to get them done. Plus we have to have 400 dollars by the 1st week of March. I know we're not going to take Lamaze, it can't be helped. I can't find any classes near by and my hospital is chargeing 95 bucks for it and we don't have that either. I am saving money i mean I used to pa y about 800 bucks worth of bills from all my credit cards but I've paid off 2 and canceled one which leave me still over 2000 dollars in debt but under 7000. Anyhow my back is killing me so this is gonna end here.

	2005.02.01  21.29 OK so I finished training hte new lead and I think I might loose training status. I mean I think so only because he wasn't getting everything and I got frustrated and threw the test on my leads desk on Sunday. Mind you 50 cents extra an hour isn't really worth the stress when I only have 9 weeks till my due date. Anyhow they didn't say anything to me but I heard them giving him answers to things that he forgot. One of the leads (Scott) kept giving me looks. I want him to tell me something so that I can tell him off... Never mind he's not worth my breath.

	2005.01.31  21.49 Dead Ok so I'm training our new lead and he seems fine, I just feel bad cause he's being forced to learn stuff that would take 6 days in only 3. I'm tired though, it seems as though the bigger I get the harder it is for me to stay up, I have 9 weeks to go and I'm in pain everyday I come home sore from muscles I didn't even know I had. I've been told that I'm vain because I talk about how I can't wait to give birth so that I can hit the gym, well you know what? I never wanted to have a child and I'm trying to get back to whatever would be left of my normal life like fitting my clothing and if that makes me vain then so be it. lol Luis hates Pollo Tropical and we just saw a comerical, we're watching south park and it's the david blaine episode....HA HA HA HA HA HA HA Mood: tired

	2005.01.28  23.02 YES!!!! Ok so I got my hair done today which is great cause I haven't done anything since a week before I found out that I was pregnant. I was told that everything would affect my baby and at first I took what everyone said at face value until things were starting to get to me. OK for the record in NY I never did my hair or toes. I always had them done I mean I went to the salon evey week for my hair and every two weeks for my feet. Then to suddenly have to stop has made me go crazy... So I caved in today and I feel great!!!!!!!!!!!!! Too bad I have to work tomorrow.

	2005.01.25  11.50 Great.... OK so I go to my specialist on Wednesday and they give me great news... I'm ok!!! Which is great in my mind cause that means all that talk about my being put on bed rest was just talk. 10 mins after we're out the office Luis turns to me and ask "Are our restrictions off?" Only a man would think about the whole no sex rule... I honestly didn't have that on my mind, I was still happy about the whole no bed rest thing. Anyhow so my next mission was to finish my stupid registry list, which turned out to be more of a headache than I thought. But his nephew Nes helped us out alot since he has a 18 month old boy. Anyhow it turned out better with Nes there cause he would calm us down when we argued over stupid stuff. We did Walmart on Wednesday and Target on Thursday. The funny thing is that Luis scanned on Thursday and we have like 7 pages of crap and I scaned at Walmart on Wednesday and we have 5 pages. So get this on Saturday I'm at Screens and I start to feel a little woozy, I brush it off thinking it's the nasty air in the control booth.. I get to dispatch and I feel worse, but I finally get bumpped and I have to pee which has become a priority in my life and I nearly colapse in the bathroom which would of had sucked cause I would of had been on the floor with my pants down (literally) and they would of had to pop the lock or something to get to me... If they realized that something was wrong. Anyhow I told Darlene and she flipped out called health services and they called the paramedics, but I called Luis and he told them that he'd take me home... He did only to leave me home alone after like an half hour so spent the rest of the day feeling crappy bymyself and I wanted to call 911 by my dislike of Dr.'s always won me over... my mother told me that one day that whole hateing Dr.'s was gonna kill me and she's probobly right... lol Mood: sick Music: Todo Quedo, Quedo by Victor Manuel